Yes you, PostmenstrualManStanding! Where are you hiding?

Are you afraid of me? Come out and play with me you little potato chip!

As you already know, the PO-chicks adore me. I'm the Charles Bukowski of Peak Oil! Always drunk, stinky socks but oh so handsome...

SPG and I are having a bucket of chicken at KFC in Madrid right now together with a magnum bottle (1.5 liters) of cheap read wine.She agreed to come over to Europe to show me what a 7.62 mm hollow-point bullet can do to a ripe water melon. I'll show her some tricks with the 15 foot spey rod which she can use in her frozen hell at the North Pole to catch some salmon.

SBC is meeting me in Vienna next week to try out some tricks which I'm teaching at the Spanish Riding School.

Shannymara will meet me in Copenhagen where I’ll explain the inner workings and some unknown secrets of quantum mechanics to her.

You see, my Postmenstrual friend, we here in Europe have some class and culture. While you Americans are chewing corn cobs, drinking moonshine and shooting possums with a .22 rifle, we Europeans invent fly fishing, ride on white horses and explain how the Universe works.

I'm better than you PMS. Just face it!

So why don't you come out and play with me?

I'd shoot your ugly ass long before I ever put a Virginia Opossum (this is the true name) down. Matter-of-fact, I have saved quite a few baby opossums after they somehow became detached from their mother.

Worthy creature they are.
You are not.

BTW, I am not PMS. Do not know why he disappeared. But it has absolutely nothing to do with you. He only recently went away, you been gone much longer than that.

Hope he is enjoying his time away from here.

Sorry, PMS was an early casualty of the die-off he predicted for 2009. If you're looking for him, you should check the rotting piles of corpses lining the streets San Diego.

Can you recommend any good mustard?

Moutarde de Dijon.

I also miss him and shanny both.

Löwensenf! Or "Lion Mustard" in English.

Comes in different calibers. From girl scout mustard to weapons of mass destruction strength.

A tube of the "extra" type can dissolve an aircraft carrier in 12 hours. Be careful.

I'm better than you because I have sex with women!

Good bye!

Schweinland-Pfalz has women?

Hey, Schwein

Sparenychange?

I don't know what you're talking about! I'm very angry right now!

I like to express myself. Like Madonna. But I was too late yesterday because they had already closed. Thank you!

Yes!

Are you sure they're women?

They're wearing pink panties and high heeled shoes, but so did Lux Interior, so I'm not really sure they're women.

But it doesn't matter really because here Schweinland-Pfalz we're using by the metric system. Millimeters and kilos are more important than trying to hide your private parts. If you're in doubt, you could always go to the library and read Kafka or Vonnegut.

When are you gonna marry me SPG? I need someone to take care of the household here in Central Europe and kill the PO-zombies which are stealing and eating the carrots I'm growing in my garden. I've re-invented ravioli so I'm very rich now, but I need an amazon-doctor like you to take care of me.

Do you have a driver's license for a Leopard II tank?

Thank you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mVEGfH4s5g

"This video is not available in your country due to copyright restrictions."

I guess SPG is a NWO-chick now. I would like to see to see the sun go down behind the Krupps Steelworks in the outskirts of some German town together with you. I'll give you a back massage before you go to sleep. And before that, we've giggled over a bottle of prime German white wine and maybe some lobster oder neukartoffeln mit spianat.

Too bad! I need you to take care of my breakfast and to spread democracy here in Central Europe. Do you have a driver's license for a Leopard II or not?

Love,

Schwein.

oh hell no! she's all mine!

hi SPG *waves*

License? I don't need no stinking license.



Hey cutie.

License? I don't need no stinking license.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxdEtyxa7Ao

Lots of metric system talk here, so don't forget to wear your tinfoil hat, SPG...

Not a problem. I'm quite familiar with the metric system and several other inferior systems of measurement.

I have to warn you though, that thing looks pretty puny for a tank. In the US that's what we call a "family sized sedan".

Hi sweetie! How are you on this 4th of July?